It is normal to feel bad when our needs aren't met.
Thanks for visiting my website. If you are new to the idea of counselling, or wishing to re-access counselling but feel uncertain please read on. I hope I am able to reassure you about taking the next step and hope you will get in touch.
I work as both a one-to-one counsellor and also as a couples or relationship counsellor. In both cases I aim to work in a warm, friendly, gentle way, and also in a focussed way, guiding my clients (individually and as couples) on their journey at a pace which feels safe and steady. I realise there are a lot of us counsellors and therapists 'out there' and deciding which to work with is not easy or straightforward.
I appreciate that private counselling costs precious money and time - my aim is to get you to the answers you need as quickly as possible. Some clients achieve this in a small number of sessions, while other clients have ongoing life-situations and wish to work for longer periods. In relationship counselling I focus my clients to identify what is happening for each person, and what needs to change, helping them understand each other, why they are experiencing 'blockers' in their relationship and how to overcome them.
Thank you for reading my page - I hope you get in touch so that I can help with the issues affecting you.
Location, cost and availability…
I am based in a warm and comfortable counselling room located conveniently in Newcastle City Centre. I am available evenings Mon - Friday .
I aim to make sessions effective and affordable. My sessions last for 60-70 minutes for which the charge is £40.
Please get in touch if you would like more information or to briefly discuss what is affecting you and how I may be able to help.
Who do you talk to the most?
Your partner? Your best friend? Work mate? Brother? Sister? Your kids? Your parent(s)? Social media? The answer - for all of us - is ourselves. It's called our internal dialogue and it occupies 99% of all of our conversations.
This often comes as a surprise to many people. We are not taught this. We are rarely, if ever, given permission to look inside ourselves with curiosity and interest at how we are responding to the world around us. It is the conversations we have with ourselves that govern how we feel and think. You've been talking to yourself all of your life - even before you had words. Even as a small baby you were responding to your environment purely with feelings – the conversation had begun and it has continued ever since.
As we develop and grow our inner conversations grow increasingly sophisticated and familiar as our identity and sense of self develops. These familiar conversations, composed of our thoughts and feelings, don’t always feel good. We learn to respond in familiar ways to the world around us. We tell ourselves we are bad when certain things happen.
Counselling and psychotherapy can help you develop your awareness of the conversations you have with yourself; your relationship with yourself; the familiar thoughts and feelings you experience within yourself.
Nobody can make you feel bad. Bad things happen to us all sometimes - but it is the resulting conversation you have inside yourself, how you manage your thoughts and feelings, that decides how you feel in response to bad events. As your counsellor I will work to help you develop your awareness of how you respond to events in your life, enabling greater choice and freedom.
Do you sometimes stumble over the truth, but carry on regardless?
Winston Churchill: Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.’
Looking at my own personal experience, and that of my clients, I believe we all have a tendency to do this. We have moments of insight, or clarity; we see what we really need or want and what is standing in the way. But then we let it go. We go back to the comfort-zone of the status quo. It’s a lot easier to do nothing than embrace the uncertain.
These moments of ‘truth’ may capture our lack of fulfilment, our dreams, our relationship disappointments, our core-needs for love and attachment. They are a product of our natural drive to grow; to find meaning in life and relationships. But we are living the live we live right now for many good reasons. We are attached to our partner, our family, our job as they all meet our needs to some degree, but perhaps no longer as fully as we would like them to, because things have changed or we have grown or changed.
Counselling can help explore these fleeting moments of personal truth, to uncover our true needs and bring into awareness the difficulties we have in fully satisfying these needs. Psycho-therapeutic counselling can help and encourage a clearer understanding and awareness of what happens within us. Higher awareness leads to choice - once we have awareness of what happens inside us we can begin to influence the moment-to-moment thoughts, feelings and actions which shape our experience.